I’m sincerely glad that the last time i spoke to you, we hugged twice and when you told me you loved me for one of the first times in a long time, I laughed and said that I loved you, too. After our long discussion about life and dreams and our futures, I felt at peace with myself. I was so happy that after years of us being jerks to each other in our childhood, we had both grown up so much and could spend long days talking like a real family. I looked forward to the upcoming years. We had no idea what would happen that night. Only God did.
i thought losing Paul last April was hard enough. But this hits even closer. Marcus, i love you so much. I hate that you were too young to go. I hate that any age is too young to go. I hate the fact that you were finally grounded in life—you had finally realized what made you happy and you were going to live it to its fullest—and it was taken away. I hate that I’ll never see you again. I hate that when people ask me how many siblings I have, I’m always going to hesitate. I hate that in four years, I’ll be older than you, even though I’m your baby sister. I hate that you’ll never get to see your twenty-second birthday.
But, as my close friend said, I should instead focus on the positive things that you did do while you were here with us. You always ensured me of my talents, and believed in me 100-percent. You made everyone happy. You let us know what we didn’t want to hear—put into focus what was really important. You always put your heart first, and showed that following your dream was the key to truly living. You always wanted to be a star, and I can assure you that you changed so many people’s lives. That entitles you to fame, easily. I’ll never get to see your smile again, or hear your goofy laugh or be bothered by your smelly feet. But you were a part of my life for eighteen years, and in retrospect, that was a blessing.
I think that the moment that we got to the Ranch before Victoria’s wedding and you and I shared a genuine affinity to the beauty around us, and you sat down to write in your journal, and something inside made me stop and snap that one picture of you—I think that was destiny. Because after you were taken away from us and I went to get those pictures developed, finding that one perfect photo of you, shining in pensive serenity broke my heart. But it also filled me with an honest-to-God hope. As if I was meant to catch that lovely moment and relive it again during a time of chaos. 
I know you’re resting in peace, Marc. I love you so much it hurts, but I truly believe that you’ll continue to help me through life. You’ll always be my big brother. I hope I see you again one day.